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11:53pm 22/02/2014
  One of my other LJ accounts got deleted with no warning because there had been no recent posts. So here I am on this account making a new post. It was actually fairly difficult for me to figure out HOW to write a post on LJ with this layout. Oh, LJ you're the best. Anyone still around?  
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baton rouge   
02:04pm 20/06/2003
mood: hungry

i know a disproportionate number of people on my friends list went to lsu/have lived/visited louisiana.

so tell me why you love hate:
baton rouge.

thank you! :)
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the switch over   
02:37pm 19/06/2003
mood: anxious
to the new journal has begun! so check your friends' list and see if someone new has added you. it's probably me! :)

also, i mainly only added people that i have recently commented in their journals/they in mine. so if you want to find my new journal and are still interested tho are not very talkative, comment and i will add you. also, in switching everything over i may have accidentally forgotten someone. PLEASE comment and i will add ya!
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12:41pm 19/06/2003
mood: ouchy
i finally saw "house of 1000 corpses." man that rocked. i love rob zombie because he's like, "let's put this super hot chick in the movie being extra hot, dancing and naked and have her kill people in gruesome ways so that you are turned on, but also disgusted."

i haven't been watching much horror in a while and i have forgotten how much i like it. i think it's cuz no one i know really likes horror and i do like watching horror with others.

i keep severely injuring myself. i think i broke my toe stubbing it on a camel saddle. and i skinned my knee which became this gross painful infected thing. i think i will stay inside.

i recently purchased the "rabbit habit" which i think sounds like something involving a bunny obsession when it is actually a vibration which looks like (not work appropriate) this.

i have also just read the book "left behind." man some xtans are funny.
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01:37pm 12/06/2003
mood: sleepy

i thought of a new name. actually i thought of a few. but most of them were taken. so soon i will be launching the new name. invitations (in the form of me adding you to my friends list) will be forthcoming. also i anticipate it mainly being friends only, so if you read this without an lj account, or you are not my friend yet, e-mail me (benevenj @ excite).

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lj irl! r0xx0rz~~~   
06:06pm 11/06/2003
mood: nameless
so today i met mofo_x and dstroy in real life for the first time. and dstroy's son felix, tho as far as i know he is yet to get his own lj, tho i am sure it would have something about how he likes cookies. we went to the oregon zoo, where i had never been before. i haven't been to the zoo in over ten years, so i was very impressed at how large the animals are. they had a really cool exhibit with butterflies although it made me really paranoid that i was going to step on and kill a lot of them. the oregon zoo is nice because it is a lot less like animal jail than most zoos i have been to. the three of us were pretty transfixed by some bats gettin' it on. what is a trip to the zoo without watching animals do each other?

during this adventure, dstroy pointed out that she had all of these (untrue) ideas about me being an ex-stripper hag because of my lj name. while it has often been pointed out to me that my name is somewhat inappropriate to my personality, i have never really thought of a good name to change to. tho the more lj people i meet in real life, the more often i have to look someone in the eye and introduce myself as fucktoy. and let me tell you how fun that is.

so, do any of you guys have any ideas for a potential name change?
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05:55pm 11/06/2003
mood: tired
how can i be 106% compatable with anyone?

chavagrrl 106%
donutgirl 98%
yamahonda 95%
quietjenn 93%
danpruiz 85%
notahilbilly 85%
screed 84%
tinka777 83%
pandoralsu 79%
mofo_x 76%
trishcan 72%
terry 69%
tunglov 69%
christiana 68%
destruct 65%
addictedtofuck 58%
dstroy 50%
How compatible with me are YOU?
oh yeah   
11:34am 18/04/2003
mood: cold
happy passover or easter or equinox or plastic eggs, candy and toy day or whatever the hell you celebrate. unless you are orthodox, then i am early.

tell me what you are doign for the big holiday, unless you've already covered it in the journal. does anyone on this list hang with the fam? my poor sister has her bday on easter this year, so i think the fam is doing a jesus born/janet was born combo dealy. poor her! :)

and it's hitler's bday as well, in case historical stuff is your bent. or you are a neo-nazi. in which case, you have been hiding it pretty well...
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gifts for me   
10:15am 18/04/2003
mood: greedy!
in case you want to buy me some go here and hit bijoux and then buy me the cool new swatch jewelery. damn swiss bastards are so good at making cool stuff.
i smell liek meat   
10:08am 18/04/2003
mood: anxious
i grilled last night and used smoke chips and had something catch on fire, so my jacket smells like meat from like, 30 paces. i am afraid dogs might attack me!

last friday i went to a hare krishna meeting and there was a special lecture in which this guy explained how thousands of years ago the god(s) spoke to early harekrishnas who were in advanced meditative states. the god(s) gave them all this info about the solar system, the earth, and topography. of course we know all of this NOW, but they knew it then and wrote it down in sanskrit. so the hare krishnas are building a big planetarium to show people this. i think this is a good idea. their point is, if the holy book says stuff we can now scientifically confirm, maybe you'lkl have faith in the other stuff. i think that's a positive idea.

however they think that the sun revolves around the earth. that puts a minor crimp in their plans, methinks. however their chanting was nice and there was a very hot krishna girl.

tonight i am going to a seder. it seems really high tech-- it is both inside and outside and they told us to bring lawn chairs. they also said they would provide slave costumes. weird.

other than taht i have been incessantly calling colleges i applied to and hassling them for info and working on teh cross stitch for my sister's bday. it is going to be a little late, but that's okay.

ugh. i really wish i knew where i was going to school and how in debt i potentially am!
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help! advice   
05:48pm 13/04/2003
mood: aggravated
I need some advice on an inappropriate job interview I went on Friday.

The job was a part time and a little above minmum wage tour guide position at a historical military museum site. I have tour guide experience and a degree in history.

On thursday, the “boss” as i will call him called my house to invite me to interview. my roommate (who is generally very trustworthy) took the very detailed message and wrote me a message about it. i got home after dinner that evening and called. the number was incorrect. i talked to my roommate and he assure me the number was pretty clearly stated to him. wither way someone made a mistake—no big deal.

on friday morning i went to a computer with internet access (i do not have this at home) and searched for his number in my e-mail and on their website. finding the error, and his correct number i called him at around 940am the next morning, a time i find completely reasonable.

he informed me that the interview would take place at 10am that morning at that it was a group interview. it appeared to me on the phone that this was the only available option for interviewing (ie if i did not go, i did not have the job). he asked if i could make it, and i said that i could not make it on time, but i could try and come as close as possible. i ended up there around 25 mins late. the interview room was locked so i knocked and they let me in. the interview was conducted by the boss and another employee. both were retired military guys. the other two interviewees were a well dressed and very prepared student guy and an older very underdressed veteran.

the only questions i was asked were confirming what was on my resume (were you a tour guide? did you graduate from school?) and “are you claustrophobic?” (which is somewhat related). the rest of the time the two interviewers talked as they had already interviewed the other two candidates. the lecture mainly focused on how the job required you to be on time and how there was no advancement in the position. it was plainly stated that the job would be perfect for “a student or retiree”—the two people in the room that were not me.

then the interview abrubtly ended before i was asked any questions.

so basically i was invited to an interview to fail and be asked no questions.

i told this to my SO and roommate and they definitely felt something inappropriate was happening. the more i think about it the more i agree. this is compounded by the fact that i have previously interviewed for a job at the museum—a position i was much less qualified for in a different department. i was told a week ahead of time about interview times and who would be interviwing me and how to prepare. the interview was conducted with a member of human relations present. it was definitely one of the most pleasant interviews i have ever had.

so i want to say something to the hr person, but i don’t know exactly how to frame it. they said they’d tell me monday about whether or not i got the position and i feel like it would be worth it to email her before that/near that to point out that it’s not the fact that i didn’t get the job that makes me angry, but the way i was treated....

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12:04pm 04/04/2003
mood: confused
explain to me why hiking is fun.

to me hiking=walking, except without purpose in a place that is more difficult than normal walking.
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cuz everybody's doin it   
11:07am 03/04/2003
  alphabet poll:
A - Act your age?: no, mainly 13 yr old boy
B - Born on what day of the week?: no idea actually. i wanna say thurs. i know it was a weekday cuz my sister got off of school
C - Chore you hate?: all. all. all. cleaning, particularly. paying bills.
D - Dad's name?: Frank
E - Essential makeup item?: lip balm
F - Favorite actor?: pamela anderson? janeane garafolo? a strong love/hate with quentin tarantino
G - Gold or silver?: silver or white gold
H - Hometown?: chicago
I - Instruments you play?: drums
J - Job title?: unemployed
K - Kids?: medium rare
L - Living arrangements?: two male roommates who are finishing tehir senior year in college
M - Mum's name?: Erika (nickname: eddy)
N - Number of people you've slept with?: in the tens spot
O - Overnight hospital stays? none i don't think. maybe one.
P - Phobia?: appendix bursting. being forced to drive cars. unsecured heights.
Q - Quote you like?: anything by woody allen!
R - Religious affiliation?: Atheist
S - Siblings?: older sister janet (14 yrs older), older brother randy (15 yrs older) and older brother roy (18 yrs older)
T - Time you wake up?: whenever the boy comes back frm the shower.
U - Unique habit?: incessant nail cleanliness? memorization of useless things
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat?: Celery, Cauliflower, Brussell Sprouts
W - Worst habit?: Ignoring important pressing things
X - X-rays you've had?: Arm, wrist (a few times), feet, chest, abdomen (ultrasound)
Y - Yummy food you make?: Tadziki dip, sauces in general, fried calimari steak
Z - Zodiac Sign?: Picses however i was supposed to be born like may 15th, so maybe that is more appropriat. picses is always wrong.
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10:25am 03/04/2003
mood: listless
i hate looking for a job.
i hate jobs that require a driver's license even tho the job has no driving in it.
phlegm is my enemy and i fight it day and night.
i hate finding jobs that are perfect for everyone i know but me.

i think being a bill collector must be an awful job.
i think i need more sleep.
i think it is odd that the only job that sounds remotely interesting out of the ones i have looked at today is a submarine tour guide.
i think we're alone now.

i wish a school write to me and tell me i am accepted.
i wish they'd also tell me i have funding.
i wish SARS wasn't scaring the bejesus out of me.
i wish people who think of war as a last resort had a better concept of "last resort."
i wish i were at a resort where i could be naked and swim

the best line frm a job ad today:
"The successful applicant will be practicing Catholic who imbues his or her pedagogy with Christian love and values. "

i want to imbue your pedagogy, baby. imbue it hard and fast.

i am reading "orgasms for two" by betty dodson, author of "sex for one". it is crap.

recently i was told i ejaculate, yet i was completely unaware. who knew.

i am done now. sleepy.
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crafty portland jzob   
10:06am 03/04/2003
  for those crafty and in pdx:

12:02pm 25/03/2003
  unrelated to the war:
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crazy email i received   
11:12am 25/03/2003
mood: confused
Date: Sun, 23 Mar 2003 15:41:19 -0800
From: Right Movement <patricia-203006404@tsd01.com>
[ Add to Address Book | Block Address | Report as Spam ]
To: <mye-mailaddy@excite.com>
Subject: Say No To France

Join the "Boycott France" Campaign.

Please review this list of major French companies that
Americans should boycott.

Millions of Americans are joining the Boycott France
campaign led by NewsMax.com

Please forward this email to as many friends and
family as possible.

If everyone who gets this list from NewsMax would send it to
just two friends, within 10 days more than 100 million people
will be contacted!

Again, please review the email below, print it out, copy it,
and share it with your friends and family.

NewsMax.com, America's news page, is taking the lead. NewsMax
unabashedly stands for America and American values.

Check out NewsMax's recent ad urging a boycott and join our
campaign, click here now:


NewsMax.com is leading the Boycott France campaign because
American lives and security is at stake.

France has every right to disagree with America. But
France has moved from simple dissent to active hostility
toward America.

French President Chirac warned East European nations that
if they side with America, France will oppose their
membership in the European Union.

This week, William Safire reported in the New York Times
that France has been secretly helping to arm Iraq -- and
has been helping Iraq build long range missiles. These
same missiles may soon be used against American soldiers.

Just as France is exercising its right to disagree,
Americans can exercise their right to boycott -- and avoid
helping companies and countries that do no stand with America.

French Products and Companies to Boycott

The following companies are subject to boycott:

* Air France. Air Liquide. Airbus. Alcatel. Allegra (allergy
medication). Aqualung (including: Spirotechnique, Technisub,
US Divers, and SeaQuest). AXA Advisors

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BF Goodrich (owned by Michelin). BIC (razors, pens and lighters).
Biotherm (cosmetics). Bollinger (champagne).

* Car & Driver Magazine. Chanel. Chivas Regal (scotch).
Christian Dior. Club Med (vacations).

* Dannon (yogurt and dairy foods). Dom Perignon.
Durand Crystal

* Elle Magazine. Essilor Optical Products. Evian.

* Givenchy. Glenlivet (scotch).

* Hennessy. Houghton Mifflin (books). Jacobs Creek (owned by
Pernod Ricard since 1989). Jameson (whiskey).
Jerry Springer (talk show)

* Krups (coffee and cappuccino makers).

* Lancome. Le Creuset (cookware). L'Oreal (health and beauty
products). Louis Vuitton.

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and glass). Moet (champagne). Motel 6. Motown Records. MP3.com.

* Peugeot (automobiles). ProScan (owned by Thomson Electronics,
France). Publicis Group (including Saatchi & Saatchi
Advertising). Pinault-Printemps-Redoute (Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent).

* RCA (televisions and electronics; owned by Thomson Electronics).
Red Roof Inns (owned by Accor group in France).
Renault (automobiles). Road & Track Magazine. Roquefort cheese
(all Roquefort cheese is made in France). Rowenta (toasters,
irons, coffee makers, etc.).

* Sierra Software and Computer Games. Smart &
Final. Sofitel (hotels, owned by Accor). Sparkletts (water,
owned by Danone). Spencer Gifts.

* Technicolor. TeFal (kitchenware). Total
gas stations.

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movies and amusement parks; owned by Vivendi-Universal). USFilter.

* Veritas Group. Veuve Clicquot Champagne. Vittel. Vivendi.

* Wild Turkey (bourbon). Woman's Day Magazine.

* Yoplait (The French company Sodiaal owns a 50 percent stake).

* Zodiac Inflatable Boats.

P.S.: Thanks to GOP lawmakers, cafeterias in the U.S. House
of Representatives will today start offering "freedom fries"
instead of you know what.

Please email this to as many friends and family as you can.
Send a message to France that will not be forgotten!

Also, join NewsMax's Boycott France campaign. Check out our
national ad campaign and help us inform
America, click here now:


All third party products and services promoted in this email are offered
exclusively by third party advertisers. The Timesavers Network makes no
representations or warranties with respect to these offers and all
claims for injury and damages related to such offers are the sole
responsibility of the advertiser.
     Read 23 - Post
03:02pm 19/03/2003
mood: indescribable
usually i am not teribly affected by news and usually whenever i am angry about something in the news i ignore it. however the annoying thing about war (in addition the million other annoying things) is that everyone is talking about and watching the news all the time! so there is no avoidance.

and i know i shouldn't avoid it i should do something but hey. ii am lame or something.

anyways we have like, 5 news channels and they are CRAZY! it's just the same crap over and over again with the world's most random ticker at the bottom of the screen which goes between giving out important pointed info, random info that is really stupid and unrelated, and scary scary facts like "we will definitely have to kill some iraqi civilians!"

and any time these news channels are on in my house poeple are glued to them for hours. i can;t handle anymore of it. it is completely bumming me out. whether or not you are pro- or anti-war in this situation, it is pretty sad that people who may be poor, suffering, sick, and innocent will get fucked up by this. in addition to thousands of american soldiers who will no doubt be mentally fucked up by this experience if not physically harmed. and the millions of americans who could be eating, getting educated, getting shelter or health care but will not be because of the war.

every time i see the ticker on cnn scroll by about the humanitarian effort in iraq and how we are feeding and clothing and helping the poor and sick there i think "god, how about doing that in THIS country? can we do that here first?" i think if we didn't go to war we'd probably be able to do it in both.

maybe america should be dropping some of those leaflets over our country. i'd like to see what's in em and i think i could use some convincing.

i think it's interesting that the media and people in general seem so easily to seperate how saddam is evil but his people are not, yet when americans disagree with war, especially now that we have committed to it, it is seen as treasonous and harmful.

i really feel bad for diplomats and their families right now. they are sitting targets, seperated from loved ones and not allowed to do their job. yet they can't say anything about how sucky that policy is. man. that must be an awful place.

i was reading yesterday that these psychologists did a study about what people felt after 9/11 and how it affected their optimism. if they felt angry they were optimistic. if they felt fear they were not. i dunno about you but when planes ram into buildings and kill thousands of poeple the first thing i feel is sad. but that apparently was not even an option.

so even tho this doesn't usually happen, i am very bummed out by current events. i find the amount of information staggering and the repetativeness of what we are shown numbing. watch tv/radio just makes me sad, then angry, then frustrated because pat buchanan can't hear me and even if he did it wouldn't change anything.

most frightening of all i think is the idea that even if you disagree with the us going to war with iraq right now, tehre's no where to hide from it. all of the world is somehow tied up in this.
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03:29pm 17/03/2003
mood: sneezy
i just got a birthday e-card from clairol. you know you dye your hair too much when THAT happens....

on my bday i woke up for no reason at like 645 am. then i got up to pee but the doorknob fell out of the door and so i was TRAPPED! luckily i always sleep with a trusty eagle scout! so then i went back to bed after peeing and my brother called me at like, 9 am! what is he thinking. so i got up, watched some mst3k and went to todai where i stuffed myself silly!

then we went to the clear creek distillery which was cool, but the guy who runs it is a TOTAL stuck up ass. also, i didn't really like any of the alcohol we tasted, so it made his assiness less viable. :)

then i went home and cleaned a LOT. then we partied. not a ton of people came but it was really fun. i made some tasty cake and drank a LOT! then, as i was seeing a partygoer out to my backyard to get his bike i had to go over this wooden deck thing we ahve to get in the house. it poured on sat. so it was super slick and we have this tree with huge flower petals that fell and got wet. so i slipped on one of them (partially due to drunkeness, but i maintain due also to the annoying situation :) ) and scratched my leg and hit it REALLY hard. it hurt a lot, but i was more freaked out than hurt i think. i put ice on it (again that trusty scout) and went to bed. i woke up the next morning with like, three more undiscovered injuries. so damn i feel old! :)

and all of my family members remembered my bday! which is a record, i think. my mom left yesterday for germany to visit her family and go to her 50th grade school reunion (crazy!). she'll be there for a month!

today i got a letter from uw which talked about how i should have already recieved an acceptance letter and had all these acceptance forms in it. so i think i got into uw! :)
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02:25pm 11/03/2003
mood: caffinated!
i got a haircut which is way too short. it feels very good but looks kinda bad. oh well. i look pretty dykey in it.

sunday i went to the new beginnings church on sun. it will be on the trinity broadcasting network this friday. 9pm pacific/midnight east coast. it was way cool. this preacher covered like, every contraversial topic in an hour. way cool.

the boy is sequestering himself this week to work on my "birthday project." i do not know what it is, but i know i am not getting laid cuz he is working on it a lot. this seems like robbing peter to pay paul, but i feel i cannot whine that he is spending to much time working on something to make me happy, you know? however i feel a little afraid of what this might be. i feel he was wayway excited about my v-day present, so he has to outdo that. muahahaha

also, even tho anytime i go to a bar for my bday everyone is celebrating stupid st. pat's day, they (and you) should be celebrating STEAK AND BLOWJOB DAY!

i still am at a loss of what to do on my bday. if it were going to be nicer i would have an outdoor partay that night. for some reason i am not currently jazzed about a bar loud crazy thing tho i know if i did that i would have fun. hmmmm....

btw terry i keep forgetting to ask you what the cool preacher on the tape you sent me was named again? i could go look it up in your journal but i am lazy! :)
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